Hot! Plaxico Burress

From Dickipedia - A Wiki of DicksPlaxico Antonio Burress(born August 12, 1977) is a professional football player, wannabe thug, self-inflicted gunshot victim, and a dick.

He is one of a countless number of dicks who think that gun ownership makes them tough guys. If that s the case, then how do you explain Canadian Mounties? Or meter maids? Or Jeff Foxworthy? Burress also suffers under the delusion that strutting around in a baggy hooded sweatshirt makes him a gangster. Select social critics have suggested that he is better described as a wangsta. The fact is, Plaxico Burress will always be a pussy ass bitch, no matter how many cornrows he gets. Not even the bullet hole in his leg gives him any cred.

Plaxico Burress plays for the New York Giants, who, interestingly enough, are actually from New Jersey. The part of New Jersey that smells. He plays wide receiver, arguably the wussiest position on the field. Well, maybe aside from place kicker, but then a lot of those guys escaped various dictators, wars, and genocides in Eastern Europe to get to the NFL, so there s that.

On November 28, 2008, with the Giants emerging as the odds-on favorite to win a second consecutive Super Bowl, Plaxico Burress accidentally shot himself in the leg outside the VIP room at some lame nightclub in the east 40s Derek Jeter wouldn t be caught dead there.

Surrendering to police the following day and charged with criminal possession of a gun, Plaxico Burress is currently free on $100,000 bail. He makes this amount roughly every five minutes he s on the field. The Giants subsequently suspended him without pay for the remainder of the season, including the playoffs. Of course, he d already earned $2 million, and that s not counting royalties from Giant: The Making of a Champion, the book he wrote with co -author Jason Cole.

Early life

Plaxico Burress began confusing the terms bad-ass and dumb-ass from his birth on August 12, 1977, a birthday he shares with Sir Mix-a-Lot, Casey Affleck, the keyboardist from Culture Club, and a Belgian mathematician by the name of Jacques Tits. Seriously, that s the guy s given name, Tits. And that s not all: Jacques Tits mathematical theorems have attracted a whole group of followers. They call themselves the Tits Group. No joke. Tits Group.

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